Liquid Mind, Liquid Body
The Tantric Approach To Releasing Sexual Resistance
Following post is contributed by our guest blogger Somraj Pokras from Tantra at Tahoe
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Tantra is about turning lovemaking into a more sacred and intimate event by sharpening your senses and stimulating your internal energy flows. Along this path, though, we often run into sexual problems.
The Tantric solution is to continue generating pleasure and watch the blocks dissolve. We've written this newsletter to give you more specific understanding of how this works.
We've all been through one or another of these situations...
* You meet someone you're really attracted to. You finally get to the big moment in bed, and either your energy isn't there, or your new lover's desire goes flat. What happened?
* You've been thinking about sex for days until you finally find the opportunity. Maybe you have an argument or some heated words, and sex and communion are the last things you want.
* You're a hot sexy lover and you fall for this wonderful guy or gal. You absolutely adore oral sex, but he won't touch your Yoni (Tantric for vulva) or she won't touch your Vajra (Tantric for penis) with a mouth for anything. Now what do you do?
* At last, you've fallen for your dream lover. The first six months are fabulous: juicy days, hot sex anytime, hotter long nights. Then, for no apparent reason, she's no longer interested in sex or his erections take a permanent vacation
* Even sadder is when one of you marries, knowing your spouse doesn't have much of a sex drive. You're hoping it's going to change, or trying to believe it doesn't really matter that much. Too often it doesn't change, and in the long run, it does matter, doesn't it?
What do all of these situations have in common? Resistance is rearing it's ugly head. And it's not particularly a liquid flow, is it?
WHAT IS RESISTANCE?
Resistance is anything that gets in the way of your natural flows of life force energy.
That's why we coined the phrase "liquid mind, liquid body." From a Tantric point of view, life force energy simply flows if you let it. We're sure you know what we're referring to. Remember a time you felt vibrant, alive, eager, and joyful about every little thing. Your life force was flowing then. We use this innate force in Tantra to feed our health and growth.
When you're feeling good, which is your birthright, energy flows continuously. Sex, orgasm especially, is a prime example. When your energetic juices are flowing, your emotions are upbeat, your body is dynamic, your mind is clear, and your spirit soars. When it's inhibited, you don't. Resistance is happening, there's a block.
When there's resistance, you feel turned off, repulsed, angry, irritated, frustrated, hopeless, or depressed. In fact, you can define your own resistance by the very times you feel these so-called negative feelings.
LEARN TO FLOW WITH THE STREAM
A good way to grasp the dynamics of inside resistance is by picturing a mountain stream. In mid-summer, it flows quietly along the rocks, banks, and bottom it's smoothed for eons. Come spring flood, the force of the water causes deep turbulence. Rocks, logs, the very banks themselves are battered and often swept away.
That's what internal resistance to energy flow is like - obstacles in the path of an immovable stream - your life force. Doesn't it feel like getting emotionally battered? Churned up by stress? Pushed around by conflicting tides?
Your health actually responds much the same way. When something throws your system off balance - germs, toxins, poor nutrition - your body acts against these stresses as best it can. You feel poorly while attempting to heal. Energetic resistance can produce the same kind of downward cycle. When you're pushing psychically against something in your life, your immune system can easily go out of whack and you become vulnerable to disease. Instead of liquid and flowing, your resistant mind is causing a body that's struggling.
You can soften the brunt of resistance by choosing to mute your desire for living, ignore your senses, and avoid pleasure. Then there's less force battering the stream bed. But you slowly die because there's less and less enjoyment of life. So we don't recommend hiding away in a cave, sticking your head in the sand, or avoiding what's bugging you.
WHERE DOES RESISTANCE COME FROM?
Resistance comes from internal conflict. Psychologically, it's caused by thoughts, beliefs, and feelings which inhibit what you want. These inner inhibitions may block you from being sexual, giving and receiving love, or making a relationship commitment. You might just feel uncomfortable about these acts, or you may experience some form of fear, anxiety, or even inexplicable anger. Either way, it's not a liquid mental state.
Why would someone inhibit their own natural desires?
* Maybe you're feeling down about not having what you want.
* Maybe you have high standards and expect more than you have.
* Maybe you feel there's something wrong with what you want.
* Maybe you feel there's something wrong with YOU, making you
believe anything you might want is dirty, bad, or evil.
When we're working from a Tantric point a view with people who want to move into a more joyful relationship, life, and sexual experience, they often run into internal resistance. It usually stems from deeply internalized rules about enjoying life and sex that get the way of pleasure. Sadly, society as a whole seems ganged up against us leading ecstatic lives.
Often, early religious beliefs about the role of sex, cultural norms about acceptable behavior, and social taboos defining right and wrong create powerful hidden roadblocks to life-giving pleasure. Self-imposed rules that we dream up ourselves can play havoc as well. Sometimes ingrained programming can cause low self-esteem and poor body acceptance while creating internal psychic and emotional conflict. Far from a liquid mind, wouldn't you say?
By the way, did you know that a high stress lifestyle can inhibit your sexual desire and your sexual performance over time? You wouldn't want that now, would you? The stress you feel within is just another form of resistance. For example, if you place high expectations on yourself (although it may feel like others are doing this), you may have trouble living up to your own demands.
HOW DOES TANTRA HELP YOU MELT RESISTANCE?
In contrast to this bleak accumulation of no-nos, Tantra says Yes! to all you are and all you desire. With consciousness, be free in your mind, be open to whatever you desire, and flow with it. With a liquid mind, resistance will gradually melt away leaving you with a liquid body.
What can Tantra offer you to support and help you move through your resistances and help you have the greatest sex and sexual freedom you have ever imagined? Simply, whatever helps to make your orgasmic energy flow is the very thing that will burn away the impeding blocks and allow you to experience new heights of pleasure and ecstasy.
Tantra says examine your mind, your body, your soul. What do you need to be more liquid inside and promote orgasmic energy flow? Do you need some specific sexual techniques? Do you need a fresh attitude about the sacredness of your body and the pleasure it brings? Do you need permission to go for it (whatever "it" is for you)?
Tantra is a prescription for living fully. At its core, you know, it's not really about sex. In our hung-up Puritanical modern world, it just so happens that when you free yourself to savor sexual ecstasy fully, you can easily do it with all the energies of life. Have fun and it will set you free. How's that for a glorious manifesto for living?
HOW CAN A HOBBY HEAL?
It may be as easy as finding a hobby that makes you feel totally alive. What do you want to spend more time doing that brings you joy? Think about it right now for a few minutes and see if you don't feel better from the unimpeded flow of energy caused by dwelling on what you want.
Meditation can be a profound way to tune into yourself and your connection with the divine universe. And it doesn't have to be a sitting still make-your-mind-empty kind of meditation. We teach a number of very active meditations which can stimulate the flow of peace, joy, and orgasmic energy.
Try this for a moment right now. Close you eyes and just look at what's coursing through your mind, body, and emotions. That's all meditation is, an inner witnessing.
Breathing is a essential device for letting resistance go. Most of us breathe much too shallowly. This prevents our system from being fully oxygenated. Try it right now for two minutes. Close your eyes and breathe deep into your belly as slowly as you can comfortably.
How do you feel now?
When you take in more life-giving air, your body is more prepared for you to choose between restful relaxation or invigorating energy in any given moment. Breathing deeply and slowly (diaphragmatic breathing) for five minutes several times a day can dramatically reduce your stress level and increase your flow of life force energy.
We believe that Tantra can help a very large percentage of you find the joy, desire, pleasure, and freedom you're looking for. Of course, sometimes resistance is more complicated and deep-seated. If you can't budge what's stopping your progress, psychotherapy may be indicated. Lately, we've been experiencing startling results long-distance with telephone therapy clients. If you're interested in how it works, drop us a line.
ONE LAST RESISTANCE TO HEAL
There's one last major resistance you need to move past. Resisting resistance.
There's no point in resisting resistance. But we know resistance is in our way so we do anyway. The more you do, the harder it is to get past what's in the way. Let's face it, sometimes big logs fall across your stream and stop you. You've just got to accept the facts of life.
Remember the bumper sticker "STOP HAPPENS" (or something like that). So when it comes to what's blocking your way, love it, breathe through it, and enjoy your play.
Do you need permission to let go? OK, then, here it is. Tantra says YES!
Tantra says life is short. Life is beautiful. Life is orgasmic. Perhaps today is the day you'll find your exquisite liquid body when you allow your mind's content to flow along with all energy in the universe.
There is only love and fear. When your energy is flowing in self love and ecstasy, there is no room for fear. We would love to help you find your flow, your liquid self.
Love and Goddess Speed Your Journey
Dhyan Jeffre and Dhyan Somraj
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